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10/16/2004 Archived Entry: "I can't believe Kerry said that about Mary Cheney!"

Yes, the chants are getting rather shrill, aren't they? And with only 18 weeks left to go (and Bush is still tied with Kerry) you can't escape the impromptu debate - at work, at lunch, even at your favorite fucking bar - because the Bushettes are programmed to pester you with the latest arsenal of clever little chants. This time it's about Cheney - you know, the lesbian daughter?

Maybe they think that with enough rhetorical bludgeoning they can change our vote. Maybe we'll be so numb that we'll forget to go to the polls or forget to pull the chads off (egad). Maybe we'll just die. Well, I say it's time to turn up the heat and cook them in their own sauce. Boldly engage that silly, insipid discussion my fellow thinking and rational friends! But, do so in such a way that stops the parrot dead. Allow me to pass along the TOP 10 WAYS to shut down the Mary Cheney taunt - with all due respect to MYDD's Flavorflav12.

(1) "Ah, the Republicans just don't know how to take a complement!"

(2) "No kidding? Did you hear that 10 more soldiers died this week in Iraq?"

(3) "Did you hear that the President said that Mary Cheney should have fewer rights than me and you... that is, of course, unless you are gay too."

(4) "I think it took Mary Cheney as much courage to come out of the closet publicly as it took John Kerry to face bullets in Vietnam. And I bet he admires that in her. In fact, I know he does, cause he said so at the debate!"

(5) "Oh. I can tell you are offended. Well, at least Kerry didn't lie about her war record and denigrate her service to the country. He simply stated something Dick Cheney already told us, and he complemented her for it."

(6) "Hmm. Mary Cheney? Isn't she Dick Cheney's Lesbian daughter?"

(7) "Hey man. I didn't watch the debates because I had to sell my television to pay for the increase in my medical insurance."

(8) "I sure CAN believe John Kerry would point out that Mary Cheney is a person, who didn't choose to be gay just to piss off her dad, but is gay because she was born that way. And if Lynn Cheney has a problem with that, she has more problems than we know."

(9) "So... what's so bad about being a lesbian?"

(10) "Abso-fucking-lutely. It's about time we had a president who isn't afraid to be politically incorrect! It's about time we had someone who'll call a spade a spade, a liar a liar, a tax cut for the rich a tax cut for the rich, and a lesbian a lesbian!"

That's gotta sting... -HP

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